It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover

“People spend so much time wondering why the women don't leave. Where are all the people who wonder why the men are even abusive? Isn't that where the only blame should be placed?”

Synopsis: Sometimes it is the one who loves you who hurts you the most.

Lily hasn’t always had it easy, but that’s never stopped her from working hard for the life she wants. She’s come a long way from the small town in Maine where she grew up — she graduated from college, moved to Boston, and started her own business. So when she feels a spark with a gorgeous neurosurgeon named Ryle Kincaid, everything in Lily’s life suddenly seems almost too good to be true.

Ryle is assertive, stubborn, maybe even a little arrogant. He’s also sensitive, brilliant, and has a total soft spot for Lily. And the way he looks in scrubs certainly doesn’t hurt. Lily can’t get him out of her head. But Ryle’s complete aversion to relationships is disturbing. Even as Lily finds herself becoming the exception to his “no dating” rule, she can’t help but wonder what made him that way in the first place.

As questions about her new relationship overwhelm her, so do thoughts of Atlas Corrigan — her first love and a link to the past she left behind. He was her kindred spirit, her protector. When Atlas suddenly reappears, everything Lily has built with Ryle is threatened.

I have some very, very conflicting feelings about this one, and there will be some spoilers about the plot throughout the review.

To begin, I would first like to acknowledge that this story is based on experiences that the author had in her own childhood with her abusive father. There is a section at the end of the book where she details this that I highly recommend readers do not skip, as it provides important context and sheds light on why she made certain writing choices while writing the plot (of course, this does not dismiss some of the more glaring concerns that I have, but it is something that people should be aware of).

To put it mildly, this book had me in a chokehold.

It Ends With Us takes place during two separate timelines, one being the present day, and the other Lily's childhood told through journal entries. The present day primarily focuses on the story of Lily's relationship with Ryle, while the journal entries tell us of her childhood love Atlas, who eventually reenters the picture as well. And no, despite how this book was heavily marketed, this is not a love triangle, and it is barely even a love story. And we'll get into that shortly, but first, let's talk about the things that Colleen Hoover got right.

First, the writing: I'm not here to claim that it's perfect. There were some character choices that felt unrealistic and a few pieces of dialogue that came off more like a poem than a typical human conversation, but it gripped me. I was completely immersed in the storyline, and there were several scenes that truly left me feeling gutted. I didn't feel like I was reading some average contemporary novel. Lily's thought process and emotions were painfully real, and every time she gave Ryle another chance my heart broke for her. I may not be able to say the same for her other works, but this was, overall, incredibly well-written.

Following up on her writing style, she also balanced the plot exceptionally well. When I first realized that this book featured a lot of significant time jumps, I was a little nervous that the story would end up feeling rushed. To my surprise, not only did the pacing feel near perfect, but I was also equally invested in both the past and present sections. Lily's progressing relationship with Ryle was like a car wreck that I couldn't turn away from, and her letters about her former relationship with Atlas were so heartwarming that I almost wished there was a prequel so that we could witness the story firsthand (I say almost because I could not stomach reading a more detailed version of how it ended).

As I'm sure many of you already know, It Ends With Us details the horrifying reality of domestic abuse. We watch Lily get dragged into the same vicious pattern as her mother, where a measly fifteen seconds forever changed the course of her life. While there may have been a few points where something felt a little unrealistic, this was not it. The first scene where Lily is abused impacted me in a way that no book has in a very long time. I could feel her pain, her horror and betrayal. In real life, it is so easy to ask why the victim doesn't leave the abuser. I can't even say that I quite understood it myself, but reading Lily's thoughts as she grapples with her love for Ryle and her need to leave him has left me reconsidering. This is so immeasurably important! The Lilys of the world are so unbelievably strong, and I pray that everyone who reads this walks away with a better understanding of what these women have to go through.

Now, you're probably wondering what 'glaring concerns' I was referencing, and it has little to do with the story itself. I'm talking about the marketing.

It Ends With Us is marketed as an exciting romance featuring a love triangle between a successful (although maybe a bit of an asshole) guy and her childhood lover. As someone who came into reading it with zero previous knowledge, I was absolutely stunned the first time any abuse took place. And there are some very graphic descriptions. There are several issues with this, the first being that this equates Ryle repeatedly abusing Lily to love.

While Lily was undoubtedly in love with Ryle, and there are several intimate scenes and conversations between them, this should not be portrayed as a love story, and I will gladly explain why. By labeling a horrifically abusive relationship as a love story, you run the risk of accidentally romanticizing it to your readers. I hardly would assume this was her intention, but there are many readers who have since vocalized their concerns. Unfortunately, abusive relationships being depicted as hot and exciting is a common occurrence in literature, and while the story itself may not do so, to blatantly market it as such is walking a very fine line.

My second complaint regarding the marketing lies in the author refusing to leave a trigger warning, or, at the very least, imply that there is domestic abuse in the synopsis. Colleen Hoover made it abundantly clear that she does not believe in giving her readers warnings, which is, of course, very problematic. There is no indication that Ryle is anything more than an asshole with commitment issues in the synopsis, which, combined with the promise of a love triangle, is a fine display of false advertising. Sure, it may not have consequences for a reader like me, but for a reader who has experienced domestic abuse themselves? Someone who could very likely even have PTSD? This book has the potential to be very harmful. As a writer, I can understand not wanting to give away your entire plot, but to callously ignore the wellbeing of your readers is troubling.

This is minor in comparison, but I also wish that Atlas hadn't been labeled as Lily's savior. I loved Atlas. He was probably my favorite character, and he is one of the primary reasons I plan to read the sequel, but this was a missed opportunity. The plotline of him picking her up that night is powerful, but I wish the emphasis was on Lily for making the call and taking control of the situation. This book continuously emphasizes the strength of these women, but in this case, I felt like Lily's strength was overshadowed. By making those choices Lily saved herself, not the other way around. Again, this was a much less significant critique, but I felt like it should be stated nonetheless.

I want to stress that while the marketing is indeed a problem, the actual book took my breath away, and I don't want to take away from that. The message is so important, and it is easily one of the most well-written books that I have read this year so far. I would recommend this to almost anybody (unless it was something that I believed could be triggering), and I have every intention of reading the sequel. But these are honest reviews, and to not bring it up would have felt like a disservice to my fellow readers.

In conclusion, It Ends With Us is a moving story that highlights the unbelievable strength it requires to break the grueling patterns of abuse. However, it does contain several graphic depictions of domestic abuse, so please proceed with caution!

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars